It’s not typical for DW to give prior indication of the duration and severity of a punishment she plans to apply for an infringement, but there have been occasions when she’s indulged in some degree of “negotiation”. Unfortunately it’s rarely I’m left with the feeling, especially in my butt, that I’ve then only received the minimum she was prepared to administer.
In a recent case DW opened negotiations while I was serving “corner” time, hands behind my head and facing a full length mirror in our bedroom.
“So what do you think would be a reasonable punishment?”
“25 with the hairbrush?” I ventured.
“No… I’m afraid that’s not even close mister!”
“Oh…umm… 30 with the paddle?”
“Hmm, yes, I guess that might do – ok, but it will be a slow, hard paddling.”
“…oh.”
Why the resigned “…oh”? - you might ask.
Well the number of stokes may seem a reasonable outcome, but the manner of their delivery would make me more than sorry I perhaps hadn’t opted for more strokes with DW prepared to deliver them in more rapid fashion. Experience has taught that 30 slow and hard paddle strokes from DW are a far greater test of my endurance, and result in a far more severe outcome.
As DW’s delivery of 30 paddle strokes in this manner can stretch to 20 minutes, she does take some care that my positioning is sufficiently comfortable that I can remain in position for that period of time – or at least that the position itself will not be a limiting factor on the duration of my spanking. Typically this will be over a well padded chair with a back of exactly the right height or as most recently, over the foot of a sleigh bed at a rented weekend cottage providing near ideal ergonomics. In that instance, DW certainly had me strongly gripping the bed covers from the very first stroke.
As you can imagine, the primary reasons for my additional foreboding at the prospect of a slow, hard paddling are that the pause between each stroke:
- allows DW to recover her full strength and ensure the next is applied with total deliberation at the full measure of force to her exactly intended destination;
- repeatedly produces the full gambit of pain sensations - whereas a more rapidly delivered spanking tends to postpone this until it’s complete, to some extent.
Hence the delivery of each stroke tends to be followed by perhaps a 20 to 30 second pause during which I am left to fully experience its painful aftermath. Once the pain of each stroke has subsided a little and my composure somewhat regained, DW then expects me to deliver a formal response in a near normal voice:
“That’s ten…thank you Ma’am…may I please have another?”
Should this response be a little long in coming, I’ll become aware that DW has already replaced her hand on my lower back and relaid the flat of the paddle across my now flaming butt cheeks in preparation for the next stroke – a warning that any further delay will result in a repeat of the same stroke.
DW also tends to reward any profanities that escape during the aftermath of a paddle stroke with repeat strokes and a pause while she fetches and firmly installs the ball gag – whilst nevertheless still requiring that I attempt formal responses, despite its relentless rubberised invasion of my mouth.
So back to the negotiations.
“So how long should I keep you in panties then?”
“3 days?”
“No, that’s not long enough I think - try again.”
“Umm… 2 weeks?” I venture - in the hope that her daily choice from the drawer might be at the more comfortable end of the scale.
”Yes, that’s fine… 1 week would have sufficed, but two will be just fine.”
“ oh”.
October 31st, 2008
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I awaken in the early hours of the morning with a growing erection to find that DW is cuddled in very close behind me. Stirring slightly, I’m reminded that that my cock is encased in the sheer silky material of some rather retro, high-cut, red nylon, lace-trimmed panties that DW has selected that I should wear for the night. My erection has now become achingly hard and through the thin panty material, I can feel DW’s smooth and completely shaven pussy pressing against my butt.
A little time later and as my erection is showing signs of abating, DW somehow senses my wakefulness and moves her hand down to wrap it around the semi-hardened bulge in my panties. Just to restore my total arousal, she moves her hand upwards to just ever so gently caress each of my nipples in turn - my resulting soft moanings, shudders of frustration and involuntary hip movements betraying to her the totally teasing effect of her touch.
Her warm hand then returns to enwrap my cock through its thin nylon covering while her thumb sneaks inside the lace waistband to gently stroke its tip, now liberally coated with pre-cum.
“Hmm… what a shame you haven’t been better behaved. Sleep tight, perhaps I’ll make use of that in the morning.”
June 14th, 2008
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… a particular brand and type of panties, or their near equivalent.
A reader has requested that I publish photos of some panties that have served well as part of his domestic discipline regime over the years, but have now reached the point of needing replacement with a brand spanking new pair (sorry – couldn’t resist). Judging from the photos, they are well suited for wear by either spanker or spankee.
For some reason I’d be expecting some very serious discipline from a paddle wielded by a woman for whom these are her underwear of choice - as would appear to be dispensed by the ladies at Women Spank Who Men from whence the first photo has apparently been sourced.
When worn by the spankee, I can surmise that their “push up” feature would help to present that lower, most sensitive area of the butt for maximum impact.
I understand this particular model of panties was sold by Triumph in the nineties but is readily available no longer.
So if any readers have ideas as to where this model of Triumph panties may now be sourced, or alternatively, a near equivalent pair of nylon push-up panties with full-bottom coverage, your comments would be much appreciated.
March 9th, 2008
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“It should be extremely painful while it is being applied, and the area it was applied to should remain very tender for a period of time afterwards.”
These are words of Aunt Kay’s from The Disciplinary Wives Club that DW has always taken quite seriously, particularly in the case of the remedial spankings that she administers for my specific behavioural infringements that breach our Disciplinary Agreement – as previously related to some extent in my previous post entitled “Measures of Effectiveness”.
There have been occasions of late when DW has expressed some substantial disappointment at the state of my backside when reviewing the outcome of her previous day’s spanking exertions. Although the spanking has certainly been painful during its entire progress (especially with use of the hairbrush), in DW’s view there can be too little to show for it as soon as one day later. It is on these occasions that DW determines the situation should be corrected by the application of a further spanking specifically designed to ensure I definitely do feel its effects for quite some days afterwards.
Although I’m sure many will justifiably see this as valid justification for a severe caning in the first place, present reality is that DW is still gaining in her confidence to apply a cane with the ferocity necessary for the lasting effects she is seeking. Certainly DW has found Aunt Kay’s booklet “Effective Caning Techniques” to be of real assistance but in the end, there is really no substitute for practical experience, gained with practice, over time. From the receiving end, I can vouch that has DW’s caning skills have certainly developed substantially but perhaps, without a background in racquet sports such has squash or tennis, I suspect it may be a little time before DW quite wields the cane with the confidence to make it her implement of choice for lasting results. Mind you, this is not a complaint on my part, but simply an observation that DW also shares – and her ability to sting my butt with the cane is indisputable.
In the meantime, DW can rely on a combination of her ever-reliable oak Spencer Paddle, appropriate positioning and carefully stroke placement when she decides that I should have something by which the occasion is to be remembered.
The specific target of DW’s attentions for a lasting impression is that region around my “sit spot” (reckoned to be just above the crease between my butt and my thighs) extending down as far as the top of my thighs thereby guaranteeing that afterwards, just the act of sitting will evoke recollections of my spanking.
DW typically facilitates her access to this tender region by placing me in what amounts to a lunged position, often over the side of the spa whereby she is provided with more than adequate swinging room for the paddle. Once in position, my feet will be slightly away from the side, my knees slightly bent with my lower thighs braced against the outside lip of the spa. I will be bent over far enough that my hands with fingers bridged are placed on the bottom of the empty spa, toward the middle. An alternative is to have me stretch as far as absolutely possible over the back of a chair of just the right height. Whether my backside is bare or covered with thin panties really makes little difference to the effectiveness of a spanking delivered with the Spencer Paddle in this manner. In the most recent case, DW left my rather shear lace trimmed panties in place – but I could feel them progressively riding up to expose the most sensitive areas of my backside as I assumed the nominated position.
Rather ironically, and taking into consideration the whole experience of the spanking, I wouldn’t rate DW’s application of a severe Spencer Paddling as the most painful overall. To be sure, the first thirty or so strokes delivered with no hint of a warm-up are perhaps the most individually painful that I’ve experienced, but beyond that number, the sensation of pain tends to start subsiding in favour a more numbed feeling in the most impacted area. Sobering enough though, is the realisation that the longer DW persists in her endeavours; the longer will be the time I feel their after-effects as the results of her paddle strokes continue to accumulate. I also think that the strokes DW chooses to land on my upper thighs hurt like hell, no matter how many have preceded them.
Sometimes DW will apply the paddle alternately to each of my butt cheeks to even out its effects, but in the most recent case, she simply applied with full force across the whole of my backside at once for the entire spanking and as a result, my right cheek tended to suffer somewhat more from its effects.
Once the spanking is completed and DW has agreed, I am permitted to gingerly explore my butt to survey the outcome. At this stage DW also applies any post-spanking care that might be indicated, with particular attention to broken skin or blistering. As a consequence, I’ve yet to experience any after-effects beyond those that DW has fully intended.
It’s hard not to notice DW’s knowing looks of satisfaction at the careful manner with which I then become seated over the next few days after such a spanking. Forgetting certainly results in a rather sharp reminder once my butt hits the chair, as do with the subtle pinches and slaps that DW slips in when she has the chance – along with her subsequent looks of mock sympathy.
DW’s choices of my panties during that time can also be designed to “enhance” that post-spanking experience.
December 29th, 2007
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It’s occurred to me that after so many years of submitting to DW’s regime of Domestic Discipline, I think I can now recognize her perhaps unintentional signals that my accumulated infringements are about to be rewarded with a comprehensive spanking. Both her facial expressions and mannerisms seem to undergo some ever so subtle changes during the day of a spanking that nevertheless, are enough for me to realise that I should be mentally preparing for what will almost inevitably follow.
For starters, her catching of my eye can be just that little bit more prolonged and meaningful than usual - in a way that seems to suggest there is something she knows but which I have yet to figure out. There is an element in her looks that seems to be conveying a message along the lines of:
“You may be on your best behaviour just at the moment, and may well be for the rest of the day, but it won’t make any difference. I know what you deserve for the things listed on that white board behind the bedroom door, and rest assured, I’m going to give you every measure. Only once you’re cradling your blistered butt should you bother trying to apologise for them.”
My attempts to embrace and kiss her during the day are certainly not rebuffed, but there is just the slightest level of disengagement - suggesting there is something to be settled before her usual level of passion will be apparent, DW’s apparent message being:
“Yes I love you passionately and completely, but you need and want my discipline - and shortly you’ll be well and truly receiving it.”
The logistics of our family life generally dictate that DW administers spankings shortly before we go to bed. It’s an almost definite sign when DW looks busy but without an effort to get changed herself - while I might be in the shower. This typically means that as I emerge naked from the shower, DW will slip in through the bathroom door, still fully dressed, paddle in hand, waiting for me to finish drying off. Even if I’ve read the signs earlier in the day, I can’t help but visibly pause on noticing her arrival:
“Don’t let me distract you - you must have known this was coming.”
Once I’ve been positioned over the side of the spa, and the en-suite door slid shut, the paddling commences - and continues until DW is fully satisfied with the outcome of her endeavours.
Panties and corner time likely follow while DW then makes her own leisurely preparations for bed.
Only once we are closely entwined in bed, my raw and panty-covered butt still very fresh, does DW:
· ask me to enumerate the reasons I have been spanked;
· remind me why she finds that behaviour unacceptable; and
· receive and accept my apologies.
What then follows is up to DW.
November 4th, 2007
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I received today the following comment on one of my posts from Michael and really appreciate his thoughts about my blog:
Hi Ford,
I only discovered your site very recently and I must say it’s excellent. The reason for my e-mailing is to kind of ask for your help, and DW’s if she would be so kind. I spend quite a bit of time trying to convince my wife that we should lead the lifestyle similar to yourselves. Whilst she has purchased a cane, to compliment the wooden clothes-brush we already have, she is very reluctant to use either as, she feels, she loves me and doesn’t want to hurt me. I always tell her that should I be naughty in any way, annoy her, disrespect her etc, then she should administer a suitable punishment with either or both. Whilst she has promised to do so in future, she does more often than not renege on her promise. Is there anything either you or DW could tell me that would help or what would you or DW tell my wife were she sat in front of you now? I hope I’m not asking too much and I truly hope you and/or DW can help me to convince my wife. Many thanks for your time Ford, keep on with your site, it really is great.
Kindest Regards to you both
Michael
When I shared this request with DW, it prompted us to consider anew the question of consensually inflicting physical pain on a much-loved spouse or partner for the specific purpose of disciplining them.
I expect readers of this Blog can have few doubts that my spankings from DW are almost exclusively in the context of Domestic Discipline and that she now has no reservations about ensuring that their severity responds appropriately to the seriousness and recurrence of my infringements. Make no mistake, being fully aware of the pain that DW can and does inflict when she reaches for that hairbrush, paddle or cane, I submit with real trepidation and in the knowledge that I will be more than relieved when she determines that my punishment and penitence are complete. DW then expects, and I willingly express my apology and gratitude for her discipline. Even DW’s regular “preventative” or reminder spankings are no joking matter.
So … is the severity of my spankings greater than I might have envisaged all those years ago when I first asked DW to discipline me? - Definitely!
Would I want her to be any less severe with them than she now is? - Definitely not.
Do I love her all the more for being prepared to discipline me in such a thorough and effective manner? - Absolutely.
And despite the severity and disciplinary nature of my spankings, there is no denying that they somehow contribute to our respective libidos with obvious benefit to our sex-life - put simply, the more time we can spend together, and the more consistently I am disciplined, the more we seem to desire each other.
Re-winding though, I put it to DW that she must have felt some reservations about hurting me in the context of a loving husband-wife relationship, especially given that she professes to have been a vanilla (albeit an adventurous one) in such matters.
On this, DW says:
Yes, I think by the time Ford first suggested I spank him we’d been married about 6 years - our relationship was very loving and passionate with close communication on just about anything really. The idea of spanking my husband had honestly never occurred to me before, but it was easy to see that this was something Ford wanted to try - and there were certainly times when he deserved it. I can’t remember exactly what he did one evening but it certainly annoyed me at the time. He was very apologetic as we climbed into bed that evening and he suggested I could spank him if I wished. I’m not sure what he was expecting, but I quickly had him out of bed and over my knee for some treatment with the wooden hairbrush. Although pretty mild compared to what I give him today, we both felt his behaviour had been dealt with and some intensive lovemaking followed.
From what Michael says, you clearly have a very loving relationship and have been communicating well about his desire to be disciplined by spanking him. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn’t hesitate and can now endorse Aunt Kay’s good advice from first hand experience. I found her DWC Handbook publication very helpful and still keep it discretely by the bedside, along with a more recent one on Caning Techniques. Likewise, if you follow her safety advice, you’ll do no harm.
I also keep a whiteboard on the back of the bedroom door where I track Ford’s infringements. That way when his spanking time arrives, both he and I know exactly what it’s for.
I also put it to DW that she must have decided at some point that, if it was serious discipline I was seeking, then that’s exactly what she would unreservedly administer whenever it was warranted. Personally, I believe this point had definitely been reached by some time in late 2003 when DW declared our first specifically disciplinary weekend, and about which I’ve posted starting at That First Weekend - Friday Night. On her Disciplinary Wives Club site, I think this is some of the Reality Testing to which Aunt Kay refers.
On this, DW says:
I don’t remember reaching any specific decision on this at a particular time but had been chewing it over for a while based on information gleaned primarily through the web. I certainly got it into my head to give Ford’s backside a very comprehensive tanning that weekend - perhaps I was subconsciously testing his limits. Routinely, if Ford can sit on a wooden seat without wincing a little the next day after a spanking, I personally feel that I haven’t done my job.
I don’t know where that puts us on the severity scale, but at the end of the day, you will need to set a level that suits you best, but there’s no hurry, take your time and trust your instincts, and talk about it - often.
Speaking of which, we’ve also found that the disciplinary component of our relationship forms a very special and intimate bond of trust between us - something that only we share and know about our relationship.
Michael, I hope this has been of some assistance - let’s know how you are going.
All the best
FORD and DW
April 29th, 2007
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